IS THERE SUCH THING AS A WASTED LIFE ?

" NOTHING IS EVER WASTED. 

EVERYTHING THAT WAS

CREATED HAVE SERVED

A PURPOSE AFTER IT IS

GONE . "

Come to think of it, if there were no bad guys, how would we know who the good guys are ?  FPJ would not have shined on screen had there been no Paquito Diaz and Max Alvarado who did him harm. The beatings he could take, so there have to be some innocent victims to justify the vengeance he would seek. FPJ will then take his caliber 45 and slay the bad guys one by one.  And then we the fans and the moviegoers applauding. The bloodier the scenes, the better.

People, by nature like to see blood and killings, at least on screen. They are willing to part with their hard-earned money to watch their favorite movie stars beat up the bad guys and put justice in their hands. In the olden times, the coliseum of Rome was built to satisfy the blood thirsty Romans just to show them what war is all about.

But who really makes the world ? Are they the bad guys who victimized the poor and the powerless, or the hero that rises to the occasion to fight for the right ?  Or, are they the people who do nothing to resist and keep a blind eye to what is happening ?

And yet behind all these are the manipulators - they who use their power and influence to oppress and exploit the weak.  They who would do just about anything to gain wealth and position of power, aided by money-hungry mercenaries who sell their soul to the highest bidder.  Beneath all these are the hapless victims - the dysfunctional families and drug addicts, and the innocent bystanders - who happen to stand in their way.

Still the question is, are lives wasted ?  I guess not for each person was created to fill up the grand tapestry of life. One Biblical example was Goliath, the giant who slayed hundreds of nameless Israelites to sow fear among the Jews.  Had he not killed those hundreds, David's triumph would not have been enough to merit him the King's crown. There have to be victims for the prophesy to be fulfilled.

Another good example is the Queen's Freddie Mercury. He was at the height of his fame when he succumb to AIDS. A wasted life to his fans and admirers but it paved way for the making of the movie, "Bohemian Rhapsody" that earned millions of profits for the producers. Same with the actor who played the part and won the Oscar for best actor. A truncated career for Freddie but a true blessing for the some who took interest in dramatizing his life on the big screen.

In the local scene, there was Baby Ama. Would you care to believe that he was executed at the young age of 16 for crimes he committed when he was in the penitentiary. Imprisoned for stealing sixteen pesos, he was driven to murder when his pregnant wife committed suicide after being raped by a prison guard. In retaliation, he killed the guard and then killed three more inmates who had sodomized him before. He then led the bloodiest prison riot in the Muntinlupa National Bilibid prison that resulted in 9 deaths and several casualties. The string of offense caused the verdict.

His was not a wasted life forit paved way for the stardom of Rudy Fernandez who played the starring role when Baby Ama's life was put on screen. Comes the bad was the good. The Chinese have a word for it - the ying and the yang of life. The balance of nature. 

" No such thing as a good person or a bad person.

Everyone has been born innocent - they become

good or bad because of the circumstances that

we put them into . "

Remember the "Parable of the Rat"- thereis no such thing as a useless creation. The rat, a naturally destructive pest and carrier of diseases asked the Lord why he was detested by everyone. The Lord said, "You are not a cursed creature for millions benefit from the employment generated by factories making rat traps and  pesticides, as well as men of science who uses rats for experiments and search for cure for diseases."

In short, it is the villains that defines the character of the hero. It is the victims that paves the way for the seekers of justice. It is the bad that highlights the good, and so forth. the balance that makes life colorful and interesting

SHOULD YOU FOLLOW YOUR HEART

" The  heart is not judged  by how  much  you loved,

but by how much you are loved by others. "

My eldest daughter  was so touched by the movie, " Everybody's Fine ", that she suggested that I should watch it with my wife. Its been a while, she said, that she has cried while watching a movie and added that it reminded her of her grandfather ( my father ).

The next day, my wife and I watched the movie at the store. The movie is about a widowed retiree who hasn't been visited by his two sons and two daughters for almost a year. After each of his children cancelled out his invitation for a family dinner, he decided to head out on cross-country trip, visiting each of his children. This despite the advice of his doctor because of his failing health.

The movie did remind me of my father but my wife had another idea.  Comes the part where Robert De Niro confessed to his children that he was a drifter, with not much ambition except to be a good father and find a woman crazy enough to marry him, my wife teasingly said, - " so that's why your daughter cried, he reminded her of you. "

Come to think of it, she was right. I couldn't suit up to my engineering career, unable to cope with the game played at work that I became someone nobody like to have around. I hated the system  so I decided to quit.  I thought of putting up a general merchandise business, and made quite a fortune in the first few years.

I even memorized  "The Art Of War" by Sun Tzu, and learned the rudiments of success reading "The University o Success" by Og Mandino.  But like war, you have to be firm and at times heartless in your dealings to become a successful businessman. Making money is the primary goal and when its about profit you are after, emotions have no place in it. After some bad deals, we found ourselves in a rut.

Having 5 kids in tow, I have no other recourse but to focus on what I have always wanted to become - a good father and a real home. Being a good father is the easy part.  Just work in love and love your work.  Each time you fail on something, the kids are there to rally behind you, laugh at your stories, embrace you when you're feeling down, and sing praises about the good food you prepare for them.

Being a good husband is more difficult.  You have to discard the eggings of your friends, and your relatives who think that you are capable of pursuing a better career, for the loving criticisms of one. Its hard to look at yourself more honestly, like in a mirror, for only a real loving wife can tell you how rotten you are at times and still love you enough to stay by your side when things are not going your way.

Two imperfect people working on an almost perfect relationship - I can't see a better deal than that.  A stupid genius and a crazy wonderwoman, and 5 misfit-kids who are smart enough not to commit the same mistakes we did, yet loving enough to listen still to what we have to say.

I never advised any of my kids to follow their heart.  I just told them that since we ended up being in the same boat by fate and destiny, we might as well enjoy the ride together while we still can since sooner or later they will lose their captain. We have no control of the waves, the current and the wind, but we can steer and adjust the sails. 

The heart is only the romantic manifestation of one's resolve to fulfill his destiny.  The mind is scientific CPU of the algorithm we intend to follow to reach our goal, and the soul is the divine rudder we use to steer our life towards the good things in life. 

Whatever has happened has no bearing as long as we consider it a stepping stone for greater possibilities. 

If you're the romantic type, follow your heart. As the saying goes, the heart is the only broken instrument that still works.

If you're an idealist, use your mind and skills for the betterment of everyone. It may be lonely at the top but there are more things to see when you're up.

And  if you seek serenity in spirit, the road is far and wide ...

ADVICE FROM A FAILURE ...

"  A  failure  is  a  man  who blundered but  is  not  

  able  to  cash  in  on  the  experience. "

"  Failure  is  simply  the  opportunity  to begin

again,  this time  more   intelligently.  "

For one who sees this life as place for greater possibilities, for him there is no failure.  For one who sees simple errands as the goal of life, for him there is failure and success. If you see this life as a stepping stone for a larger possibility - if you have a good deal you use that for your well-being, if you have a bad deal, you use that for your well-being. This advice coming from a man of great wisdom.  You win, you gain. You lose, you learn. 

When failure comes, it takes away your money and a part of your life.  You can cry, or you can use the experience to strengthen yourself. One thing you gain from failing - you get more time. More time to think, feel and meditate. Look inside you and feel and see who are on your side. 

Time and time again, we hear stories about human courage to overcome the odds and triumph in the end.  These stories inspire but the truth is, a lot of people who have triumphed later find themselves drowning in their success unable to cope with the money that flows in, the fame, the public scrutiny and losing trust in the people around them.  Having succeeded, they lose grasps who their real friends are and having to live a life that others expect them to.

The price of success - trying to stay on top by making more money to meet obligations you wouldn't have if you didn't  have so much money. You'll be surrounded by people who hides their true character and reveal it in hiding.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with succeeding. Its what we are meant for. But we should also ask our self if what we are doing to be a success would mean something on our death bed. Will this thing matter 5 years from now ? Or maybe twenty years from now ? Will I be proud of what I am and what I have accomplished ? Will my kids feel proud for the things I have done ?

"  Happiness is a  delicate  balance between 

what one is and what one has. "