THE FIRST ON MY BUCKET LIST

Life had been good to me ...

and given a few years more, I hope to do some more things before I kick the bucket.

The eldest of 5 brothers,

I wish we could share a table of drinks at least one more time.

They migrated to Canada in 1981, and one of them I haven't seen for almost 20 years.

I have been sober for over 30 years.  I have forgotten how it feels to have a hangover.

I also forgotten the feeling of how it is to have little brothers hovering around.

They are no longer little and have families of their own.

It would be nice to see all their faces before I close my eyes.

For old times' sake ...

We did have some good times together but we were still very young.

My youngest brother was only six years old while I was about 22 then.

The wine may not help to bridge the gaps created by the vast distance that

separated us but it would break the ice.

Once the ice melts, we may become like real brothers one more time.

No one would understand why I chose the life I have, 

but maybe when I stop trying to understand them, they too would stop trying to 

understand me.  It would just a simple get-together,  share some jokes, 

share some fun, and connect in some ways.

I may not have played the role of a big brother to a tee, 

but I was just thrown to the role by fate.

Maybe not a good example to them and time is to short to make amends.
But its never too late ...

Our Dad had  10 brothers and 2 sisters,

all of them are gone now.

Dad was 10th of the twelve children. 

I was with him most of the time when goodbyes were said as they were laid to rest.

I cannot forget how his eldest brother cried when he visited him a year before he died.

When his youngest brother died, I was there too helping with all the preparations for

burial. He may have a lot of faults but one thing I am sure,

he felt the lost of all of them.