Keep souvenirs. There are good times, and there are bad times. Keep the good memories, but learn to forget the bad ones. One way of remembering the happy times is to keep souvenirs. Take pictures, save some mementos, and write about them in your diary. But when things doesn't go as planned, and you got hurt in the process, just rationalize and someday the pains may be useful. The pictures, the mementos, keep them in separate box or drawer. You may also write about them but not in your diary. Write every gusty words you can think of during the moment of anger and disappointment and read them after a few days. The rage is gone and soon you'll find the sense to throw them in the waste basket. Time heals and soon the bad times will be forgotten.
Never stop loving even if the other person have stopped loving you. "Pains of love are sweeter far than any other pleasures are. " as said by a certain poet whose name I have forgotten. Listen to inspiring songs about losing, such as "Even If" by Jam Morales, "Nothing Else Matter" by Santa Esmeralda and "Hurt" by The Manhattans. The hurt will still be there but at least you're in good company. Someday when you've found another love, the sad memories will not be as sad, and you can use the pain to paint a better romance. We have no control about what goes inside our mind but we have a hold on what we do with the memories. Love is never wasted for even if it is not reciprocated, love will come back in form of another love or another life.
Keep a journal. Its very much like keeping a diary, keeping a daily record of activities and events. A journal however, do more than just keeping tracks of what's happening in your daily life. A journal may include newspaper clippings, cut outs of magazine articles, and sort of things you like to write about - anything you feel like writing about. After a few days, a few months, you can take a look how you were before and how you are at present. After a few years you can take a full picture of you as compared to what you are now. Feelings change, way of thinking change and sometimes you feel that nothing have changed. But looking at how things went through the years makes you know more about yourself.
Our mind is like a sponge ...it records everything - what we saw, what we heard, what we felt, what we tasted, and what we smelled. Like a computer hard drive, the memories are stored at the back of our memory. Our problem is which memory we should remember and which memory we should forget. The souvenirs and the journal are trigger mechanics that will make us remember what we wanted to remember. Happiness can be implanted within our life. We can always work out ways to make good whatever comes our way. As the saying goes, "all he waters in the ocean cannot sink a ship unless the water penetrates the inside."
What we should forget ...
Forget about the good things we do for other people. "Do not let the right know what the left hand is doing" - that is, to be Biblical about it. When we keep track of the good things, the favors, and the help we do for other people, we can lessen our expectations and disappointments. Most often than not, when we help get other people out of the rut, we expect them to have a sense of gratitude and to reciprocate what we have done for them. When they don't do what we expect them to do, we want to punish them. We want to tell them in their face the "if not for me" things, and then we push them away. We sometime end up telling other people how hurt we were, looking for sympathy. The disappointment then turn into hatred, and hatred will forever paint our memories black.
Forget about where you started with. Comparison is the death of joy. Life maybe a race with more losers than winners. However, success does not guarantee happiness. Some rise above the rest, become more financially stable, but end up having more problems. As the saying goes, "No amount of success could compensate for failure at home." Forget about your common beginnings - some get lucky, and some are simply smarter - but being alive and contented does not depend solely on what you have. There are good friends and there are fair weather friends. Keep the good ones, and the friends for convenience, let them be. The sun shines on both the good and the bad, and life could be defined on how you handle the bad.
Forget about "persona". Personality or "persona" came from the Greek word "mask". Persona, however, is defined as an individual's social facade or front. Carl Jung, an analytical psychologist viewed it as one's reflection of the role of life he/she wants to play. Each one of us is a different person to different people, and it take years to be able to live a life you really wanted. As long as we keep doing the things other people want and expect us to do, we will not be in command of our life. As John Wayne, an American movie star and icon, found out that happiness comes when you become the kind of person you have always pretended to be. But I like best the Popeye the Sailor boast - "I am what I am 'cause I am what I am."
And of course, don't forget - "Memories is like a rocking chair - always moving back and forth, back and forth, but it gets you nowhere." To the young ones and the not so young, it may not help at all. But you're old and weary, awaiting you final rest, good memories are the only thing that would brighten your days, wash away the bitterness of being alone. It may be hard to understand, but a busy mind full with sweet memories will never have dull moments. Nothing like dreaming when you're wide awake...
Forget about where you started with. Comparison is the death of joy. Life maybe a race with more losers than winners. However, success does not guarantee happiness. Some rise above the rest, become more financially stable, but end up having more problems. As the saying goes, "No amount of success could compensate for failure at home." Forget about your common beginnings - some get lucky, and some are simply smarter - but being alive and contented does not depend solely on what you have. There are good friends and there are fair weather friends. Keep the good ones, and the friends for convenience, let them be. The sun shines on both the good and the bad, and life could be defined on how you handle the bad.
Forget about "persona". Personality or "persona" came from the Greek word "mask". Persona, however, is defined as an individual's social facade or front. Carl Jung, an analytical psychologist viewed it as one's reflection of the role of life he/she wants to play. Each one of us is a different person to different people, and it take years to be able to live a life you really wanted. As long as we keep doing the things other people want and expect us to do, we will not be in command of our life. As John Wayne, an American movie star and icon, found out that happiness comes when you become the kind of person you have always pretended to be. But I like best the Popeye the Sailor boast - "I am what I am 'cause I am what I am."
And of course, don't forget - "Memories is like a rocking chair - always moving back and forth, back and forth, but it gets you nowhere." To the young ones and the not so young, it may not help at all. But you're old and weary, awaiting you final rest, good memories are the only thing that would brighten your days, wash away the bitterness of being alone. It may be hard to understand, but a busy mind full with sweet memories will never have dull moments. Nothing like dreaming when you're wide awake...
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